Fool enough to almost be it
and cool enough to not quite see it
and old enough to always feel this
always old, I'll always feel this
No more promise no more sorrow
no longer will I follow
can anybody hear me
I just want to be me
when I can, I will
try to understand
that when I can, I will...
You look like you're going to spend your life having one epiphany after another, always thinking you've finally figured out what's holding you back, and how you can finally be productive and creative and turn your life around. But nothing will ever change. That cycle of mediocrity isn't due to some obstacle. It's who you are. The thing standing in the way of your dreams, is that the person having them is you.
Until then I had always thought of loneliness as something negative - an absence of company, and, of course, something temporary... that day I has learned that it was much more. It was something which could press and oppress, could distort the ordinary, and play tricks with the mind. Something which lurked inimically all around, stretching the nerves and twanging them with alarms, never letting one forget that there was no one to help, no one to care. It showed one as an atom adrift in vastness, and it waited all the time its chance to frighten and frighten horribly - that was what loneliness was really trying to do; and that was what one must never let it do...
Dying all day in thousands of little ways Dancing alone and drinking a lot Closing the clubs and Haunting the cabarets Looking for what? Another five years off your life
Cowboy does not intend that the memory should ever die. There are memories that live for him as his present reality does not, and he shines them daily, like the finish of a fine new car, to keep them bright.